Why Ambitious Women Get in Their Own Way (Self-Sabotage)

Why do ambitious women keep getting in their own way? This article explores the real reason behind self-sabotage (hint: it’s not laziness or lack of willpower), and how unhealed emotional baggage and nervous system patterns block success. If you’re tired of setting goals only to stall, spiral, or start over—this one’s for you.

SELF-SABOTAGE

Conde Bartlett

5/1/20252 min read

Why the Ambitious Woman Keeps Getting in Her Own Way

(And How to Finally Break the Cycle)

She’s smart. Driven. Always working on herself.
She sets the goal. She writes the vision. She does the affirmations.
But somehow, she keeps ending up in the same place—frustrated, stuck, and wondering what the hell is wrong with her.

If this sounds like you, let’s get one thing straight:
You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. And you’re definitely not lacking ambition.

You’re just running into a pattern.
A deeply wired, emotionally rooted, nervous-system-triggering pattern called self-sabotage.

The Lie of “Not Enough”

Here’s the thing most high-achieving women don’t realize:
Self-sabotage isn’t about willpower. It’s about safety.

Your mind might say “I want the promotion” or “I’m ready to launch the thing,”
but if your body is carrying unhealed trauma, limiting beliefs, or nervous system dysregulation…
it’s going to slam the brakes the moment you start to speed up.

Why?
Because success feels like a threat.
Visibility feels like danger.
Being powerful feels like punishment.

So you procrastinate. Overthink. Numb out. Overdo. Undersell. Hide. Quit. Start over.
Not because you’re weak—but because your system is trying to protect you from the very thing you say you want.

Sound Familiar?

  • You set a big goal… then get overwhelmed and “forget” about it

  • You’re constantly busy but never really moving forward

  • You shrink your voice when it’s time to take up space

  • You push hard, burn out, then spiral into guilt and self-doubt

  • You know exactly what to do… and still don’t do it

Self-sabotage doesn’t always look like failure.
Sometimes it looks like overworking.
Sometimes it looks like perfectionism.
Sometimes it looks like “just needing a little more time.”

But underneath it all?
Fear.
Of being seen. Of being judged. Of getting it “wrong.”
Of actually getting everything you want… and still feeling unworthy.

So How Do You Break the Cycle?

You stop trying to outwork it.
You stop blaming yourself.
And you start getting curious about what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Here’s the truth most goal-setting gurus won’t tell you:
You don’t need another planner—you need to feel safe being powerful.

That starts by healing the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying.
By clearing the outdated beliefs running your subconscious.
By learning how to regulate your nervous system and stop mistaking stress for productivity.

This is the deep work. The real work. The you’re-not-broken-but-you-are-blocked work.

And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

I work with ambitious women like you every day—brilliant, badass souls who are tired of getting in their own way and finally ready to rise.

Inside my 1:1 coaching and in my Manifesting Miracles Membership, we don’t just talk about goals—we clear what’s stopping you from receiving them.

Because success isn’t about doing more.
It’s about becoming the version of you who can hold what you say you want—without sabotage, shame, or shutdown.

So if you’re stuck in the loop and wondering why nothing’s working…

Let me remind you:

You’re not behind. You’re just ready for a different kind of momentum.

Let’s create it—together.